Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Near Death Experiance

I got a book in my head based on a somewhat of true story, want to turn it into a screen play, any blog dogs want to help.  I'm the Gretzky of this shit who don't have a stick. I need help...Please Help

The plot:

A slightly autistic man (Richard Large, ak Smoking Man) who is tormented  with visions that come true, he drinks to avoid and cloud the pain of the bad ones that come true,  dies in a strip joint while dancers tune is gig in the sky, he dies due too excessive bacon and egg eating, smoking and drinking. His soul is taken on a tour of the universe by a gorgeous angle (Becky), he meets a crying Eisenstein pissed that he has no more puzzles to solve, He is introduced to a  voice, not sure if its god or the crazy voice in his head.

He is taken on a tour of the universal conciseness consolidator where he learns everything about everything. Becky fucked up, she took him threw the UCC to early, not enough time passed and his body was revived in an ambulance.

He recovers after a long coma with super human knowledge and power, first thing he does is transforms that old homeless lady on a bay street grate into a gorgeous young woman again, its captured by a near by news crew. The attention he gets brings more people with problems and he preforms miracles and cures cancer  He cures all illnesses, which put everyone in health care out of a job. They hate him and want him dead. All the religious leaders of all religions want him dead as their cash stream of followers renounce there own religion and follow the Smoking Man.

The CIA, CSIS, Mossad plot to take him out. Problem is he reads their thoughts, as soon as someone plots to kill him their heads explode. Eventually this power consumes him and any tiny negative thought by a fellow human causes their heads to explode, he's lost control, they all die.eventually only crazy people and drug addicted people are left. Smoking Man decides he want's to leave this world and go back to space. Goes to a bridge, and jumps, only to awake from a coma,  with all the power he had from the first coma, decides he's not going to cure cancer or make the old young. He buys a small bungalow in long branch and takes up blogging  always careful to avoid publicity.

The plan, I type it as I see it, you guys correct and make it better. eventually threw my contacts at TIFF we get a director and make a 3D  modern day wizard of oz.

I need help any volunteers contributors will get full propotional credits and comp.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Me and my buddy Chris Hadfield

No one is higher at the moment.

Why did everyone think I was talking about money and power, silly rabbits.
Ok he's not my buddy,  but was good enough to pose for a photo. If you're ever lucky enough to meet this remarkable guy, and no one is around, ask him about UFO's 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Merry Fucking Xmass

Was Mary really a Virgin?
Did Joseph bye it, was he scanning the room trying to figure out who pined his bitch?
Did Jesus turn water into wine?
Did a candle with a few hours supply of fuel  really burn for 8 days?
Did Mosses make the sea part?  You sure he didn't take a hammer and chisel up the mountain.
Why does god not show his face.........................................?

Ancient con men and magicians.........................................Milking the sheep to this day.

Now 2000 years later not much has changed,

I got to put up with all this fucking bull shit.


They all get together and tell lies about their success and their kids over embellished achievements, un-like me who barges about his failures, Fuck if they only knew the truth about ? Much prefer for them to think I live under a bridge, its so much fun watching their contempt for drunken me, sucking up to those that they perceived to have the most loot. So funny....

For once at a x mass dinner I would like to go and load the young kids up with craft dinner, stick ping pong balls up theirs ass, draw straws on who pulls the finger, and bet huge against the brother in laws on which kid can fire it the furthest. I can dream can't I

Now that would be a Christmas.

But sadly I will endure adults pretending to love each other, while stealthily taking cheap shots at each other.
Everyone selling, competing, with fake smiles and zoned out eyes, woman conniving the next dig to the skinny one.

I have a cousin in the USA, who's in deep shit, about to lose his house, lost job,best friend had to fire him, bad health, hooked on Oxy for real pain, with beautiful kids, un-like me he has done a great job.

As kids we grew up together, he was the alpha, always kicked the shit out of kids that would give me a hard time, I deserved it, but he made it so I got away with it.. Always their for me...............

I am working in stealth, my aunt, his mom called up my wife, asking for a bit of loot so his kids can have a good x-mass, shes not doing that good either.

These people love me.

I said he wont except a dine from me to proud, so get me his bank info and I will drop a g-note in his account. She got me the info today.

Cuz is  going to wake up on Christmas morning with no mortgage, + 1000 in his account, he will have no idea who did this.

Why would I do that? Cause I can.

Plus my wife loves his wife, two drunken idiots when they get together, and my aunt called her first...........................

Merry Christmas Cuz............

To the rest of you, suck my balls, fucking hate this time of year........always costs me fucking money.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Is Smoking Man in this pic

Is he on the  left, right, or the centre,  or not here?

Questions, damn Questions.



Wednesday, December 5, 2012

My deleted post on GF 2012-12-05 # 1

Well I did it, on an elevator with the wheels of the firm.
2 hours after eating white rice with Szechuan chicken and consuming 3 glasses of wine with  3 packs of hot sauce my rice, my Hemorrhoids are screaming for a scratch from a weakened mind.

I cave to temptation, actually I had no control.

I did it, started with a slow twirl hoping no one noticed,  mirror told a different story, Hemorrhoid saying man up basterad, so I do. I’m busted.  So I say fk it, I dig deep, twist, dig attack, Ahhhhh, wonderful. It was so gratifying can’t find words to describe it, better than sex.  Damn it.

I am expecting security to hall my ass out of the building tomorrow. If not


I must rock,  after all I now Yoda, and now Zohan…..

Csis going who the fk  is Zohan?

Zohan stories coming…………………